Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, Senator representing Kogi Central at the Nigerian Senate, has apologised to the Senate President, Godswill Akpabio.
The female lawmaker released what could be called a “positive false” apology letter on Sunday night via her official Facebook page.
She titled the statement “Satirical Apology Letter” addressed to the Senate President.
In March, the Senate announced the suspension of Akpoti-Uduaghan of Kogi Central for six months over a disagreement with Godswill Akpabio, the Senate president, concerning sitting arrangements. She also accused Akpabio of sexual harassment.
The decision to suspend her was based on recommendations from the Senate Committee on Ethics, Privileges, and Public Petitions, which found her guilty of misconduct against the rules of the Senate.
SATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER
From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan
Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,
It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance— of the very personal kind.
How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… “requests” was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.
I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.
Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.
I remain,
Yours in eternal resistance,
Senator Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan
Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken
